It feels fitting for my first blog post to give y’all some insight into my life, my experiences, and my perspectives.
So hi. I’m Alyssa. I’m so happy you’re here. Let’s get started.
Growing up: how I got here
I grew up on the Jersey shore in a small, middle class town. I had a very close and loving immediate family consisting of my mom and dad, my older brother, and my younger sister. And yes, I fully believe that I embody both the middle child and oldest daughter tropes.
Most people would describe me as happy, optimistic, athletic, and smart. I was great in school academically, I played three sports, and I was always laughing with a big group of friends. In hindsight, I was definitely a victim of an “all or nothing” mindset and that carried on until the end of college… and might still exist sometimes in my current life.
I went to college in New Jersey to become a high school English teacher. It felt like my calling, so I was understandably surprised when, after just two years of teaching, I was burnt out, ready to leave, and questioning if the emptiness I was experiencing was what my life would always feel like.
Therapy and anxiety and accepting change
I can’t talk about myself without talking about my mental health and my personal journey with therapy. When I first went to college, I hated my life there. I was lonely and confused and I hadn’t had to make new friends in so long that I couldn’t remember how to do it. I was watching all of my high school friends go to parties, meet new people, and enjoy their lives while I was so unhappy. At this point, I was only leaving my dorm room for class (aka my perfectionist anxiety wouldn’t let me skip) and I was either sleeping 15 hours a day or binge-watching every season of Survivor (aka my loneliness and depression symptoms were coming out).
It took me 2.5 years from that moment in my life to ask for and get help.
When I started going to therapy, it was just to talk to someone and make that time for my mental health on my calendar. I was always nervous about my upcoming sessions and I hated crying during them. I had grown up instinctively trying to be perfect, and I knew that my family had negative feelings about therapy and about medications for mental health. After switching therapists and leaning into the practice, my therapy space became a safe way to face my anxiety and depression head on and to realize that these symptoms had always been a part of my life… like literally since middle school.
Accepting this allowed me to open up and accept other new thoughts and ideas into my life. I quit teaching, and I took on a part time role advising low income students at a community college. I love it. And now that I feel comfortable in my job, I have had the time and mental space to start my own mental, physical, and emotional health and wellness journey this past year.
My current era
2024 was a transformational year for me.
I prioritized my physical and mental health, I consistently moved my body and started eating healthier, and I practiced self care through hobbies and by being selfish in the best way possible. I think you’ll find throughout this blog just how important I think it is to be selfish with your time and energy, and that is a skill that I have had to work on as a previous chronic people-pleaser. This past year, I saw the benefits of putting myself first, and it truly brought more value to my life.
This year, I have stepped into a full time role for a job that I love, I have started a yoga teacher training course, I went through the highs and lows of my first long term relationship, and I have learned how to adapt to changes in my comfortable routine when necessary.
Seeking happiness and loving life is a lifelong learning journey for all of us.
I am so unbelievably grateful to have finally started mine.
And finally: what does it mean to live a soft life?
On my personal life journey, I have thought a lot about the lifestyle that I want my every day to embody. For me, living a soft life means stepping out of that grind culture, slowing down and enjoying all the little moments, and being patient with myself. I realized that I needed to trust myself to reach all my goals without the constant pressure of perfection and burnout. I have learned just how important it is to live in the present moment and seek out the happiness and contentment that you want from being exactly where you are in that moment. I can’t wait to share the tips and tricks I’ve learned.
I want to embody this mindset and soft lifestyle in my every day life and routines. It starts with this blog. I’m happy to have you on this journey with me.
Much love,
Alyssa ☀️
Introduce yourself below and tell me what it means to you to live a soft life.